Hello again, dear readers!
I know that I have been gone for awhile, so bear with me a little bit while I catch you up.
A few months ago, almost to the day, I woke up in Southampton. Thomas had just arrived from New York the night before to spend a long weekend in the home my family has been renting on and off for almost two decades. It felt like home, but at 5:15am that Thursday morning, it also all felt very strange and new and different. After the requisite five minute wait with my eyes squeezed shut, I dared myself to look at the pregnancy test on the sink, willing another line to materialize… and there, faintly, it was! But it was so light that I wrote if off, and went back to sleep.
At 8am, as Thomas made breakfast for the baby downstairs, I took another test. And there, there was a darker line. I made my way downstairs, shaking, vibrating out of my pajamas it felt like, and asked Thomas to put down the book he was reading to Briar in the post-breakfast lull. Without speaking (I couldn’t really talk just yet, because the words had started to come out garbled, so I shut my mouth) I held up the test.
One blood test later, Thomas and I received an early morning phone call from my OB. He’s my favorite doctor, and more like a father figure at this point for me. I know he called as soon as he got the results. “It’s early, but you’re pregnant! Don’t get too excited.” Sure, of course!
Then we woke up the house: my brother, my mother, my father. Champagne was brought and toasts were made. It was 24 August 2018, and our family got just a little bigger.
It has been a long time to keep this secret, which has burned like a little birthday candle flame inside of my chest for months. But now it’s time! On our seventh wedding anniversary (22 October) Thomas and I told the world what was constantly threatening to slip from our hearts, through our throats, and out of our lips: we’re having another baby, due early May 2019!
So now, dear friends, you are in the loop! I hope you don’t begrudge us the wait to tell you. The baby is healthy and developing apace. We’re hoping for an easy pregnancy (though the morning sickness has been different and worse with a toddler to complicate it, and the fatigue isn’t much better) and are literally counting the days.
My apps tell me the little one is the size of a large lemon. Despite this, I am not showing, and some days it feels hard to believe. Lately, I’ve felt little tickles I think may be the quickening, and it’s starting to feel more real. Briar certainly feels a difference in the air, and she knows there’s a baby in my belly. “Bee-bee? Bee-bee!” as she touches her pointer finger gently to my belly button, looking up at me with those expressive hazel eyes she gets from her father. “Bee-bee,” I always confirm. “A new bee-bee for Momma, and Dada, and Briar.”