Dear readers, we welcomed our sweet little girl into the world on 1 May 2019! Please welcome Violet Eloise, our tiny bundle of joy!! She is as close to a carbon copy of her sister as you can imagine, and is a sweet, easy baby.
When I found out I was pregnant again, first I felt joy, but then the guilt set in. I was so worried her older sister would feel displacement and no joy at her arrival… I was wrong. There have been very few bumps, and Briar has demonstrated her ability to adapt and be mature, at the ripe old age of two.
This post won’t convince any second time mothers-to-be that it will be smooth sailing for them. Having a second child is simply too anecdotal. Everyone’s experience, as I now know from having two children, is a unique one. Though I’m still learning through this experience, here is what I do know after becoming a mom to Violet AND Briar:
- You are NOT ruining your family structure! Families are flexible, and they can adapt to change. Even a family with a serious schedule (like the one I keep mine under) can fit a new baby with ease. That’s because…
- You will love this baby the same, no matter how it feels while you’re pregnant. I was so so worried about how I would dredge up the emotion needed to bond with and care for a new child. Your love is not a finite resource, and you’ll find the well full every time you return to it.** Despite this…
- It is still hard to have a newborn. Add a baby to your life with a toddler, and your life has dramatically changed for sure, even if for the better (for the most part… dirty laundry pile, I’m lookin’ at you!) Give yourself grace. You’re going to learn to meet the challenges head on. Which is why…
- You’re definitely going to need some help, mama! Trust me. How do you get decent calorie intake while caring for two? A team of friends and family. How do you keep the house clean? Your spouse or partner. How do you keep your toddler entertained? A MIL or energetic friend or literally TV. Accept help where and when you can… being an island might have worked the first time around, but it won’t this time. You only have two hands!
Making the leap from one to two is certainly not easy. I’m still struggling with how much my life has changed when I can sit down and think through the sleep-deprived haze. For now, I’m going to take my sleepy self and drink a nice glass of red wine, and put my feet up while the kids are sleeping. I’m working on going with the flow.
I hope that this sometimes-anxious mama can ameliorate your fears, at least for a little while. This may not be the easiest thing I’ve ever done, having two, but it is certainly the best decision I’ve ever made. (I can’t believe I’m saying that!)
Over and out, dear readers!
**NOTE: If you are feeling unable to connect with your new child, and feel no joy, happiness, or interest for three weeks or more, it could be PPD. Please seek help here.)